I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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