fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
