I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize