My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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