There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
