i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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