His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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