Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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