the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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