I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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