I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Randomize
