Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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