and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
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How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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