My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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