You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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