I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
