So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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