Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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