Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
