Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize