You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
