It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
