Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
