This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
