Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize