my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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