I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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