My hand turned me down
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
