you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just high enough for therapy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
