Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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