she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
