I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
