went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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