well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
