My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
