found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
