Whod you bang
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I supernannyed him into submission
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
