I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is my gift to your gina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
