I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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