I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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