I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
