U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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