Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My life is pants optional.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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