I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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