Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
this is an emotional support booty call
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
im on a boat
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