they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
