worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
