Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
