you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
