Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize