YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
