Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
