I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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