The maid of honor just puked.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
