Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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