i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
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I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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