No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
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Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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